Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
