the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't deserve a penis
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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