I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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