Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
