you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
