I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
