D3 body, D1 cock
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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