I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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