you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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