yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
