Having a random hookup so left but love u
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize