how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
