Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just want nice things and good sex
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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