I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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