You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
