Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
