Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
