Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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