We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Randomize
