I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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