Those balls look pretty dangerous.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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