your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
