either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize