she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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