I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
a search helicopter?!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
