So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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