i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
