I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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