Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
