Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so let's talk penis.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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