I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
