Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
