I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
