She is in my trunk
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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