You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
