I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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