Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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