My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
