Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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