I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Damn victory sex feels great
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
