physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
