this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
