5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Rumble strips road head = magical
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
