I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
