I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
