college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
