my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize