new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize