I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
