Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
