I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Drunk is not a location!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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