hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize