So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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