Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sabembermoff hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(414): View more from Wisconsin

We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us

Fav 0 1142 1474
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?

Fav 71 2387 6918
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking

Fav 49 1703 4356
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party

Fav 30 6277 1380
share tweet
(781): View more from Massachusetts

Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.

Fav 18 1308 4005
share tweet
(636): View more from Missouri

the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"

Fav 11 5929 1232
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.

Fav 10 3623 1695
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.

Fav 2 531 305
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...

(1-917): View more from New York City

Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...

Fav 0 47 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT