so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
