i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
