Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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