how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
