where am i from again
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
