Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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