We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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