Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
