to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
