I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
