well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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