We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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