Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize