This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
