Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We had to coat check the pizza.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
