would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
