I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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