You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
