Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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