Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
