dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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