at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm getting married
To pizza
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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