what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
