Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize