Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
