How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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