New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
